How to Get Away With It: Is It Fall Yet?

How to Get Away With It: Is It Fall Yet?

I've learned something today.

It began when I had to run some errands and decided that I might as well bring Jack the Corgi along. It had been a rather busy week and as such I hadn't had much time to throw his squeaky ball or take him on walkies so I figured a car ride with plenty of stops would be a nice way to make it up to him. He would be in new smell heaven and I would have a companion for the day. Win-win.

After we stopped at the pet store (where he decided to get fresh with every pretty lady and yet totally shut out the very pretty boy and his greyhound) and on the way to my work to pick up the paycheck I forgot to grab on Friday (where he instantly became more liked by my coworkers than myself) we made an impromptu stop at the liquor store. Fall, after all, is fast upon us and I was out of certain necessities for recipe testing such as rye, cream sherry, and maraschino.

As we both walked up I then realized the giant "Only Service Pets" sign. Now, my husband would simply tell anyone that Jack is a service dog and simply walk on. I, however, am a terrible liar and crack under pressure. If I told such a lie it would come out through tears and shakes. Plus, Jack the Corgi is a derpy sonnabitch and no one's going to believe he's a service anything.

I thought about going back and leaving him in with the window cracked. It was only 80 degrees out and I would only be a minute knowing exactly what I was going in for, but I feared some ass would break my window or call the cops because they had to play Greenpeace.

So we boldly went in and said nothing to no one.

Until a sales rep spied me and began to walk up with an air of authority. Damn...

"Sir," he began, "I'm sorry, bu-"

"OH MY GAAAWWWWWD! Is that a Corgi!?" Rushing past my side and to the floor with hands held out was a large, older woman in a pressed white shirt and waterfall of blond curls thick enough to fell a tree with one turn of the head.

"What's his name?!" She turned, beaming with a joy that told that this would be the highlight of her shift. Then again, when a puppy shows up to your work isn't that generally how any of us would feel? A bit below her smile was her name tag.

On it? The word, "Manager," in bold type.

And so that's how I learned that Jack the Corgi is absolutely allowed into Total Wine.


"You already had your treat. This is daddy's treat."

"You already had your treat. This is daddy's treat."

Is It Fall Yet?

Labor Day is gone. The Japanese Autumn Festival is at hand. Pumpkin spice lattes are available. It's officially fall. However, In Sacramento it's still a tipping 90 degrees. Still, I want a fall-flavored cocktail.

This isn't the most nuanced drink out there, but it's fall in flavor and still a bit light. The perfect cocktail when in the midst of an Indian summer. In addition, it's extremely easy to pull off.

What You'll Need:

  • 3-4 thick slices of apple (Pink Lady or Fuji are fine choices)
  • 2 ounces rye (I used Bulleit Rye)
  • 1/2 ounce Luxardo Maraschino
  • 1/2 ounce apple brandy (I used Laird's, because of course I did)
  • 1/4 – 1/2 ounce lemon juice (I find I prefer this a bit more sour than most, hence why I offer you a range here)

What You'll Do:

Place the apple pieces in a shaker and muddle them good. Add some ice and the other ingredients and shake it even gooder than your muddling. Double strain into a glass. No garnish. Pray for colder weather and enjoy.

Stewards of Spirits: Cascara Champagne Cocktail

Stewards of Spirits: Cascara Champagne Cocktail

Casual Homophobia: Margarita de Jamaica

Casual Homophobia: Margarita de Jamaica