Cats and Violets: Scattered Clouds
Today I dropped $425 on a vet bill for my 13-year-old kitty, Cid. I adopted the little guy back in 2004 when I was a junior toiling away at my Genetics-changed-English-and-Soc degrees at UC Davis. We've been together ever since.
He's seen me through a separation, two graduations, a marriage, and more than a few moves. In fact, he's actually the reason I'm sitting here typing this at all. Back in 2011, Cid was the one who woke Brian and me up when a sudden electrical malfunction caused the apartment we were sleeping in to catch fire. The fire alarms had been placed low on the walls and never went off. What did go off? Cid. Had he not jumped on the bed and started screaming and pawing at us we might not have gotten out. We had just enough time to flee before everything else burned to the ground moments later.
Needless to say, Cid is pampered as fuck to this day.
Of course, this isn't to say he doesn't have his odd traits and annoying habits. He insists on biting and suckling everything in the house. Clothes, pillows, people... so there are little teeth punctures and drool marks on every piece of furniture and all of my jeans. He's also a aggressively cuddly. As in he will pin your ass down, claws keeping you in place, and forcefully cuddle rape you into submission. (Shh... just let it happen. It'll be over soon.)
Sadly, today, we had a vet visit because someone is nonstop barfing mucus all over the antique Turkish rug. I swear, a fire roaring in the bathroom won't wake me up, but hearing that all-too-familiar hooka-hooka-hooka sound as a cat gears up to retch out will send me flying out of bed to hurl the little dude off the brand new carpet and onto the hardwood where the bile won't stain.
Sitting with the vet we went through the normal routine questions. Is he eating? Yes. Any pain? No. Odd behavior? Depends how you define odd. Did he eat anything strange?
"Well... so... he had a habit of eating lube."
And the veterinarian? She just looks up at me and then looks at Cid.
"Personal lubricant. Specifically, silicone-based. He won't eat water-base," because I figure I should clarify.
"That," she remarks bemused, "is a new one."
"Yeah, we have to constantly keep the goody drawer locked because he'll lick the bottles clean. On the upside, we figure it keeps him super regular."
What I didn't explain was that, due to his youth being filled with cheap plastic ring-shaped toys he also has an obsession with rings of all kinds such as bottle cap sealers, washers, and cock rings. He's eaten through plenty of plastic and silicone ones and we've found metal ones under the fridge too many times to count. Naturally, this only happens when Brian leaves the goody drawer open, so he's partially to blame.
After the vet took Cid in back for tests I heard an sudden, "He eats what?!" So, at the very least, Cid has provided an interesting story to a veterinarian office that had likely thought it had heard everything. So yayness there.
Anywhose, we still have no idea what's wrong. We've ruled out the lube or the cock ring obsession. (I swear, this cat has more addiction to toys than some of the guys I know.) Hopefully, blood work will turn something up.
Or, you know, he'll magically get better and we're just $400+ in the hole. You can understand why I might need booze to fill the empty void left by my now-empty wallet.
I'm not a huge vodka person, let alone a flavored vodka person. However, a good citron vodka is nice to have around. Paired with crème de violette and a frothy egg white and you've got a drink that'll take the edge of and soothe your impoverished nerves.
As for Cid's post-vet treat? He'll get a tiny piece of tuna as a reward for being poked and prodded. I'm hoping it stays down.
Update: It did not.
Update 2: Cid is still on a bit of a barfing streak. Though now it's random and not every single time he eats so... improvement in a way? Every test shows he's healthy as can be so the vet is telling us to just watch him. We're switching him to wet food to see how that sorts out.
I bought a bottle of crème de violette years ago after it first became available and then did nothing with it. For years it sat in my cabinet and I've only recently realized how phenomenal it is. A rich purple in the bottle, but when mixed into a cocktail it takes on a sky blue or soft periwinkle hue. The flavors is redolent of violets — floral and intense. Like walking into a florist's home. There's a hint of vanilla there, too. (Unf! Vanilla! YAS.)
I used a citron vodka here. Regardless if you use that or an unflavored one be sure it's of good quality. This is a cocktail that will not work with a hot spirit.
The result it soft, airy, fruity. It'll keep you chill until you hear that telltale retching sound again.
What You'll Need:
- 1 ounce citron vodka (I used Hangar One Buddha's Hand Citron)
- .5 ounces Cointreau
- .25 ounces lime juice
- .5 ounces crème de violette
- 1 egg white
What You'll Do:
Place the ingredients into a shaker and shake for about 10-15 seconds dry. Add ice and shake for another ten seconds. Double strain into a coupe glass and serve. No garnish.