Functioning: Sunglasses Inside

Functioning: Sunglasses Inside

"Oh my God," I moan out to M as I plod through her front door. My arms are carting bags of produce and liquor. I let them go and they drop resoundingly on her dining table with an unenthused thud. "I am literally so hung over."

"Oh?" she nods. "Me too. G and I tied one off at Formoli's Bistro last night."

"No, no. I mean I was drinking till 4 AM hungover," I creek. I am well inside the house but the sunglasses stay on to prevent more sunlight from clawing away at my brain.

"Wow. What was the occasion?" she asks while poking through one of the bags and examining a so-ripe-it's-squishy nectarine.

"There wasn't one. It just happened. Suddenly I was attempting to live the halcyon days of my early twenties when my liver could handle a bottle of vodka and not start weeping uncontrollably a quarter of the way in."

"So, you decided the best thing to do..." she holds up a bottle of mezcal, "was drink more?"

"If I stop all at once the shock to my system will kill me."

"We're prime examples of functioning adults," she replies as her agreement.

"Not so loud. Get the vermouth."


Fruit is good for you. Therefore this is healthy.

Fruit is good for you. Therefore this is healthy.

Sunglasses Inside

Sunglasses Inside is a drink designed to make mezcal approachable to newbies. The spirit can be incredibly smokey. Here, the nectarine and brown simple syrup temper its assertive nature. An easy cocktail for a summer afternoon or for when you need to come off the bender slowly.

When eye droppers don't do shit, and you're as put-together as prayer and superglue will allow.

When eye droppers don't do shit, and you're as put-together as prayer and superglue will allow.

What You'll Need:

  • 1 ounce mezcal (I used Del Maguey Vida)
  • .5 ounces brown simple syrup (see recipe below)
  • .5 ounces fresh orange juice
  • .25 ounces fresh lemon juice
  • 1 nectarine, diced; pit discarded; extra for garnish

What You'll Do:

Place the ingredients into a shaker and muddle together with the ferocity of a thousand lions. Or, if you're hungover, a mewling kitten. Whatever strength you can summon, muddle with it. Add ice and shake. Double strain through a Hawthorne and mesh strainer into a coupe glass. Garnish with a slice of nectarine.

Brown Simple Syrup

To make this burly syrup, take 1 cup of brown sugar and 1 cup of water and bring them to a boil until the sugar dissolves. Easy peasy.

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