Bobby Fisher'd: Humble Winner

Bobby Fisher'd: Humble Winner

"How the fuck did that happen?"

"I'm really good at chess," my husband says so matter-of-factly. There's no teasing or bragging in his voice, which somehow makes it more irritating.

I'm not saying I'm a whiz at the game, but I'm no pushover either. Still, this is a bit disheartening if not altogether and utterly stupefying.

"You Bobby Fisher'd me in, like, eight minutes!"

"When I was a kid I played my dad almost every day for years. Even then I only beat him a few times," he replies.

I take a long, patient sip of my drink as I stare at the board and then at him. A splash of vodka gussied up with grapefruit and lavender. Two things my husband claims he doesn't like, yet, he always loves whatever I put it in. He barely touched it while we played and now he's pounding it down in a self-contained reverie that no one but myself could possibly see.

I turn over his comment like a shiny stone, examining it for flaws. "How in nearly ten years have you never mentioned this?"

"It never came up." He finishes his drink and begins collecting my fallen army.

This is an entirely legit excuse if you know my husband. If you don't ask, he won't think to volunteer information. Not out of malice or deception, but because you honestly didn't inquire on your own. Then again, how on earth would you ever know to do so?

A twirl of grapefruit falls out of my glass and I tell him to set the board up again. The fucker trounces me in 32 moves.


Also a fabulous consolation prize to soothe the feelings of a sore loser.

Also a fabulous consolation prize to soothe the feelings of a sore loser.

Humble Winner Cocktail

So I am a terrible loser when it comes to board games. As in my family and husband absolutely refuse to play Risk or Monopoly with me. I'm also a very boastful winner. Some people call this having a bad attitude, but I consider it endearingly mercurial.

Anyways, having a good drink in me helps keep emotions jogging at a tepid pace. This cocktail, flavored with grapefruit and a bit of lavender, is nothing but a chill pill served in a glass. If Xanax had a flavor - and shouldn't it? - it would be this.

What You'll Need:

  • 2 ounces vodka
  • 1 ounce grapefruit juice
  • squeeze of lime juice
  • 1 ounce lavender syrup (see below)
  • twirl of grapefruit peel for garnish (optional)

What You'll Do:

Place all of the ingredients minus the peel in a shaker with ice. Shake well and work past the anger from your partner stealing Park Place from you and ruining your plans to dominate the board. Double strain into a coupe glass and garnish. Serve and roll the dice one more time.

Lavender Syrup

A lovely little syrup. Excellent with gin or vodka. Leftovers should be poured over a freshly baked pound cake and allowed to soak in before serving. It's all sorts of amazing. May leave the house smelling a bit like Nana, though.

What You'll Need:

What You'll Do:

Place the ingredients in a small sauce pan. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and steep for 5 minutes. Strain into a glass. Will keep in the fridge in an airtight container for 1 month.

Floral. Citrusy. Yes.

Floral. Citrusy. Yes.

Comeback: Cherry Balsamic Shrub

Comeback: Cherry Balsamic Shrub

Melting: Spring Verbena Cachaça Fizz

Melting: Spring Verbena Cachaça Fizz